Families, who’d have them!

Last week’s musings about ‘home’, what it means and how it forges memories, has left me thinking much more about family this week, especially the connections we have with our ‘close’ family, our ‘nearest and dearest’. These thoughts have coincided not only with the first visit of my parents to the house and the return of sundry children to our (their – discuss?) home, back from university to ‘revise’, but also a significant birthday of my eldest sibling.

I was convinced that my parents’ first visit to the house, long delayed due to illness, would be a failure; they wouldn’t like the house and would struggle with the layout, the little steps between several of the rooms, the stairs etc. (They are both of an age at which ‘being in my own bed’ seems to be the most important thing in their lives!) But should I really still be worried about what they think at my age?…. I need not have been concerned, as they were charmed by its character and potential. In a melancholic moment over a glass of wine, I could see the regret in their eyes that they hadn’t done something similar themselves when they were at the age they could have….

My siblings’ visit was an altogether more challenging affair, as we haven’t really spent much time together recently. However, trips out on local walks and music brought us together and, combined with the Ice cider I have mentioned before, we laughed in front of the fire and reminisced about our different tastes and the fact the we all love music despite growing up in a house with no music whatsoever.

My eldest sibling’s significant birthday meant a trip to the parents’ house and a ‘party’ with a bizarre mix of people. As she does not live in England my mother was in charge of the ‘guest list’ – so, invited were: Tim-the-vicar, Tom-the-taxi (obviously we all call him Joe, in a nod to Vanessa Paradis!), angry-artist-Angela (lives with Tom, but not in that sense and in 37 years, this was the first event they had attended together), as well as some distant relatives who live close-by- an ‘interesting’ mix! The writer her indoors saved the day with a spectacular cake and the event was a success, despite, or perhaps because of, its inauspicious beginnings.

So, family…This week has confirmed that it doesn’t take too long before you find that all families have their quirks and foibles, the estranged uncle, the distant brother, hidden (or not very well hidden) feuds/illnesses/relationships, stories that are shared, or will never be told…Is it about being bound together by blood, feeling bound together by memories? Do our friends fulfil the needs our families can’t? And when are we truly at home and with whom? So many questions which, having just finished watching the excellent Bohemian Rhapsody, still give pause for thought….

Eating: Lentil and roast vegetable salad, based on Meera Sodha’s recipe, but with extra aubergine! I served it as a warm salad, with soda bread fresh from the Aga and a green salad on the side. The chilli, garlic and lemon in the dressing gives it a lovely zing!

Drinking: Sibling #1 brought this over from Spain – robust enough to work well with the above salad.

Listening to: In a desperate attempt to avoid the tension moments with family, I spent lots of time listening to chill-out music while cooking – the writer her indoors’ favourite at the moment is Chet Baker very laid-back jazz; my current preferred song is Autumn Leaves, the writer’s is It’s always you. Going to bed singing a variety of bastardised Queen songs tonight, though!